Fear and Insecurity

There are weaknesses in us which we are aware of, and others which are new-found in our minds, when facing fresh situations.Whichever is the type, weakness is a draining mechanism, it robs us of our vital force the 'confidence' and thus impairing us to face what others may find a normal situation, let alone the tricky ones.

The weakness does not show its ugly head, until we are faced with a situation that renders us weak or acknowledges it, by demanding a strong and composed state of mind, when we can't have one. Even at the thought of facing it, we become restless and by all means try to avoid it or push it down the line if its inevitable. It can be anything like being among a crowd of 1000 people, traveling along steep valleys, facing bullies, flying in a plane, cut-throat business competition, etc.

The greater problem is, our deep-rooted insecurities coupling with our weaknesses, when this happens it makes up for one of the worst days of our life. The state we get into thus is, fear. Fear grips us tightly, we can't breathe, can't think neither can we do anything else, we are simply crippled. Fear in itself may be a negative emotion on almost all occasions but, it is this fear, which forces us to think beyond our problem, show courage and to do what we have never done before. Fear, thus can also be a key to our hidden potential, unleashed in the wake of lurking danger.

A certain day you fear facing your weakness and suddenly you even see a chance to lose a precious thing or even your beloved, you make out by then you are doomed. Yes these days come, we have to stand-up and march ahead, this is what is called 'Against All Odds', we have to keep walking in all circumstances.

All the situations, each problem, every enemy says to us, 'Be More Strong the Next Time', because confrontations will always take place, until we live. So the way to LIVE the Life is only one, 'Be Good and Strong', but be ready to face the fears and live beyond them, thus overcoming weaknesses and putting to rest the insecurities.

Photos December 4, 2010

~@First View@~

~@Burning Colours@~

~@New Shoots@~

~@Natural Design@~

~@Sage Peak@~

~@Beyond the Cliff@~

~@Faraway Land@~

~@Awaiting Renewal@~

~@Burnt Remains@~

~@River of No Water@~

~@My Friends@~

Still Life

The city climate is unstable, rains, heat wave, and winter breeze all coming over and going away within a span of few days, Ulhasnagar is raining in November strange, yet ok for me, because anyways what difference does it make to a Still Life, like that of mine.

No progress whatsoever since years in me and my work, no development in my Quests for a better tomorrow, no advancement in my techniques to overcome this status-quo which I've been holding onto since last many years.

But, as always I would try to change it, (if I really want to I mean), hell did I ever want the change, maybe the answer is No, and it was all sub-conscious, because I was never the direct target of the ill situations and mind numbing problems that were inherently brought-up by me in this world, making other's(the ones that I love and mean the most) lives near hell, and yet I never changed myself for so many years(shame on me).

Living this life is like standing knee-deep in river Ganga, the stream gracefully flowing caressing me, and I can only see it go away before my eyes, approaching me from back and just running past me so lovingly and healing my self-hurt life, the Ganga like those many people in my Life who did all the good things for me and yet it is strange, I can't Thank all of them all at once, can just try to do my part by being a right person and forwarding my feelings of gratitude with devoted good deeds towards all of them as one, at this very instant itself and individually too, the Ganga be prayed to with joint hands and a thanks from a man to God.

Yet, the sweetest lesson I've learn't is, Love is Alive, is it always was meant to be, and yet after so many years the Nectar of Love still touches my heart and is Sweet as it Ever was and as it ever could be.

Thanking all the people who played their part better than me in my Life. Cherishing the Godly Parents that I'm a son to, and much Love Jaan(ever wishing to be with you always).

Mother

         Mother, Maa, Ammi, Amma, Amad, Mummy, Mom all are names of the Divine figure on earth our 'Mother'. What do you feel, what comes to your mind, when you read this word? Your school days when she let you have a fun time, fed you nice, made you sleep by caressing your head or your teenage years when she kept up with your erratic college schedules by getting up early and going to bed too late or are you reminded of the days when, how even after your marriage she took care of you and your spouse alike in her own loving ways, whether you are a girl or boy, good or bad, young or old, Mother's Love always remains Same, Eternal and Ageless just like Herself.She stands by us always whether we are right or wrong, protects us from every possible threat, endangering her own self, she guards us against all the possible threats from the whole world courageously.

         She gives us all we ever want and fulfills each of our needs, we never even bother to think, what is necessary for her and whether she has it.She cares for us meticulously all through her life, we never even have a good look at her, how she looks, is she alright, no we never do that.She prepares nutritious food everyday and lavish meals on special occasions, but always feeds herself with the left-overs as if she is a dustbin.

         She teaches us the Right way to live, we never think, How wrong we have been treating her so bad.She tells us to straighten-up ourselves and behave nicely, for this we resent her and hurl insults.She works all through the day to meet our requirements, we never care to lend a hand and ease her stress.

         Instead, when she steps back sheepishly in-front of an electronic escalator, we shout on her calling her an embarrassment, but never take her out for walks and let her gain some confidence in her middle-age.When we notice hair in our lunch, we scream and give-up the meal, but never notice her damaged gray hair and take her to a doctor.We are irritated when she can't handle the T.V. remote properly, but we don't realize that she actually never got time to sit-back and relax in all these years that passed by.When we can't find a thing in kitchen, we yell obnoxiously, but fail to imagine how she caters to our one hell of a family.

         Mother Loves us, and always forgives us even after her death, but God stops forgiving us the day he takes Her away.


P.S. I have no words to describe you Mom. Love You.

NauJawan Pyaar

Darta nahi ye pyaar uske baapse
Darta hai sirf apne karm ke paapse

Is umar mein itna kuch kardiya
Sab kuch yuhin complicated banadiya

Pyaar tujhe karta hun bahut jaaneman
Saabit nahi karpaaya abtak apne dil ki aggan

Yaad bahut karta hun tumko
Roz thoda marta hun samjho

Kami tumhari chubhti hai mujhko
Dinbhar akela rulati hai phir toh

Phone par adayein tumhari lagti hain khaas
Jaane kab sachmein baithogi mere paas

Kadi mehnat se tumhein banaunga apna
Phir hoga poora humdono ka sapna

Galtiyon ko meri kardo maaf
Is gandagi ko kardunga zindagi se saaf

Nibhaunga tumse har ek vaada
Karunga pyaar tumhe khudse bhi zyada

Musibaton mein sahara tum ho sanam
Jeevan ka pyaara lakshya bhi Tumhi ho, kasam.

Pucho...

Tum kitne Sundar ho, kisi Raahgir se pucho,
Tum kaise Batiyate ho, Padosiyon se pucho,
Tum kitna Jhagda karte ho, Gharwalon se pucho
Tum kitna Dil Dukhate ho, apne Mehboob se pucho,
Tum kitni Be-izzati karte ho, Doston se pucho,
Tum kitna Sharmate ho, Anjanon se pucho,
Tum kitne Pagal ho, Saathiyon se pucho,
Tum kitne Kameene ho, apne Dushmanon se pucho,
Tum kitne Shararti ho, Mohalle-waalon se pucho,
Tum kitne Acche ho, Gairon se pucho,
Tum kitne Hoshiyaar ho, Sahpathiyon se pucho,
Tum kitne Pyaare ho, Mujhse pucho.

Photos September 27, 2010

~For some ginger is a flavour, for others its food~

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~Nature's Abundance left unattended~

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~Sunset in Woods~

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~Blooming Rose~

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~Rainbow~

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~ManasMandir Jain Temple, Asangaon~

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~Composed~

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~Sleeping Specimen~

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~ " Where's my mood ? " ~

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~ " A New Day, let's make the most of it. " ~

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Positivity

          A sudden change, not thought of, couldn't have asked for, directly from the blue, is what it takes to bring you out of negative frenzy and self-destruction.

          It happened to me the other day, an old friend visited my shabby self, took me out for some snacks and on top of that I asked him for a long ride, we were on a bike.We enjoyed the ride, the road was beautifully curved throughout, the landscape had amassed greenery upto every visible horizon, and the atmosphere was pain alleviating.

          It sparked the positivity in me and 'happiness without a reason' was showered upon, I enjoyed Nature, and a desire to do something good, be it anything, lured me.I will continue living nicely, whatever the situation be, I will work,enjoy and pray.

          The bad things happen to us either because, as a punishment for the past wrong-doings or to teach us some other valuable lesson, so that we avert any other possible, big future crisis.If something uncalled-for happens, accept it, face it and move-on,it may not solve the problem immediately but you surely have taken a step towards resolution, don't linger on the floor in destitute, emerge more lively and cheerful out of it. That's LiFe!.

To, All you People, my Best Wishes for everything you do.

...cally

Dear Jaan,


We are together historically
We speak, whenever in public, sporadically
We always behave ethically
We stay far away geographically
Whenever we meet, it is planned technically
We argue, opposing each other diametrically
We correct each other grammatically
We explain each other diagrammatically
A secret is enclosed behind our lips, hermetically
We live through each tough day, drastically
We love each other dramatically
We kiss over the miles aerodynamically
We hug tightly in our dreams ergonomically
Our fate is suspended mid-air, critically
We will always be together psychosomatically


Love You Shona.

Rain Photos 2010

~Ravishing Fullness~

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~Man's simple geometry , about to get waterlogged~

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~People in various modes, under the rain~

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~Abundant Greens~
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~The distant part of the city is disappearing beyond view, into the grip of rain clouds~

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~Numerous Birds, Single Shelter~

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~Green Grounds~

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~Some water trails~

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~We stand Wirlessly Wired~

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~Square Tops~

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~Umbrella View~

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~Blown Away~

Self-Destruction

Self-Destruction is the sweetest thing to do, where doer meets the done, seer sees the self, worker is the work.The target of self-destruction is always in sight.You may disagree with me firstly by saying cut this crap of negativity and secondly by suggesting other supposedly sweet things like chocolate, money, sex, love, adventure, etc.

I heard all those words, now please let me explain. Chocolate though sweet, starts and ends inside a small wrapper, gone inside your stomach even before you properly savour it. Money gives pleasure by either, you sitting atop its stash or spending it away, do you really like any of these options ? Sex is a natural need, you may enjoy it frequently on a feather-bed, but you need good stamina and of-course a partner for that, at the end it leaves you totally exhausted physically and blank mentally. Love is a thing you like to fall in, swim deep under and enjoy it all day long, but keeping up Love and loving somebody needs real good efforts, enjoying pillow-talk is one thing and keeping Love relation sweetly alive is another story altogether.Adventure gives you adrenaline rush, lets you lose control, makes you want it more but, can you have it the way you like it ? Its limited to a few unique doses, also you can't repeat it in the same way as you might have enjoyed it the first time, it gets boring with repetition.

In self-destruction, you have the victim as a guinea pig for all your trials and tribunals of a frustrated mind and a loner body. You can try newest methods of torture, long enough to fatigue you completely.The torments can begin anytime, the victim can never runaway, he can give-up anytime, the punishment may continue upto a point of insanity or sudden death.

You are a psychotic freak to everyone, a black-hole personified, a disaster machine and a hopeless case. Still, you don't feel anything, no pain, no uneasiness, no discomfort and that is why, you continue the process without a pause ever.It starts with a fit of rage, and when you are into it, it is pure inertia, the lack of strength to come out of it. Though you inflict pain upon self, you never lose the energy for doing so, you go on and on, till you reach a stage of deep self-realisation or someone breaking into your mind, who puts tremendous efforts to get you back to normal.Thus, its a whole new world of Substance Abuse, totally different from mundane world and regular people.

I just want to say, enjoy your lives, so long as you can. This is not cynicism, this is an account of Self-Destruction.

Take my Offering

The gushing sin waters
are threatening to engulf me
I face the limitless depths
on the sandy shores of Western Ghats
The guilt inside me dancing with ebb & flow
I had closed my eyes only once to be bad
The salty waters in here
are powering my nausea very bad
I turn my back to the quiet sunset
and for days together I run like a mad
Atop the serene Sahyadris I reach panting
it divides the two states of me
The air of self-destruction I left behind
pure cool breeze that I breathe
your kiss sent me in time
That morning you walk me through the Sahyadris
clearing up a timid and perplexed mind
I hug you puppy-soft
hereafter, you take complete charge
We breathe the same breath
harmonizing our two lives
I am all yours since ever my dear
my last beat shall die with thy name
And now I offer you my thorough-self completely
Annihilating me in the love into you
For we shall become us
and us shall become One
I thus give-up this me
Transcendentalizing myself into Thee

- Yours from the core to the brim,
Amit.

P.S. I Love You Jaan.

After Drinking

1:44am, Monday, August 2, 2010,
I am not drunk, but yes I drank 2 and a half pegs of the Drink.I can say that after drinking so much, you stop feeling, but continue knowing, I know, I am writing this, but I can't feel that I am writing this.

I am chewing a chewing gum, which was enjoying dark solitude in a big carton kept inside my large shirt pocket for nearly 10.5 hours, since this afternoon before my appointment with the *Devil.

My feet keeps on sliding away, I can't balance the book I am writing on, I changed feet, but both are slippery sorry.

My mouth is open, but I ain't waiting for a fly to fly in my mouth and create buzzzz.. boooommmmm... hummmmm... aakTHOOOOffff........

My neck rests deep on pillow and hurts, its hard sitting like this.I cannot feel, but I know this, that I can't feel what I know.
I bite myself on the forearm in the car an hour or so ago, I didn't feel it, I knew it, I saw it. I kept my hand out of the window over the car's roof, no no I wasn't sitting inside a kaala-peela taxi.

I still know which of the things, I am thinking, that I am not feeling are secure/safe with me(they are ready to pop-out), those are never to be told.

My cousin learnt 'Cell Basics' from me, in this condition of mine, yes truly, I helped him with science half an hour ago.

The chewing gum isn't losing its mint, or is it my mouth fixated with the mint?
Naah, its the gum, I can still feel its minty chills.

I am wide awake right now, I walked over to my apartment before writing this, my feet didn't feel anything, but I knew they were doing something for sure, only couldn't figure out what exactly.

I can put a stop, to these torments provided I put my head down on the pillow,ohh please, my cursive writing keeps coming back, when I'm about to pass out or in too much hurry, by the way none of these cases is applicable here.

Hope you had a good time reading this and Inception was good, *Devil accompanied me to it.






















Haa Haa, I'm still here, you bozos, I won't give up, when I've drank too much, thats my speciality anyways, gotta stop this nuisance,cya.

Chand

Accho Patthar Mitho Patthar
Thado Patthar Sutho Patthar

Aahe keena heu mamuli patthar
Hinakhe disan saan the tho khushia jo asar

Suhagan ja virta heu chhode
Ghotas khe lambi umar bhi to de

Baar bachan lae aad-jugaad kha hi
Chanda mama kare tho sadaye

Shayar kalakar hinakhe disikare
Kavita mazmun likhan hazar

Dosta pahinje pyaare khel me
Chand khe suhino saathi banain

Door tadpanda premi vechara
Hinaje dwara pyaar paain

Hinaji kheerni shikil me
Premi hika bejo darshan paain

Nasa Isro Chand te pahuchi
Pahinji fateh roz tha sadain

Samjhan natha hinaji mahaanta
Heu Chandra Devta sade jagat jo aahe

Ram bhagwan bhi pahinje baal-pan me
Kedo na Chand lae hatth kayain

Munh jede akele raahi lae
Dost Bhrata Premi heu Chand aahe

Vishal failyal hina aasman me
Sadai khede Chand Chandnia saan

Rahe sada sabhni je dil me
Accho Patthar Mitho Patthar
Thado Patthar Sutho Patthar

Love-Letter

Dear Jaan(missing you),

        I would define those times as happy when you and me were overlooking each others' faults, going out of our way to please each other, neglecting personal stuff, ignoring other people (even family and friends), those times last for a short period. But when we had it, the honey of love was spread to every second of the day, your talk was always kind and your words caressed my mind.


        We have even seen those times, when everything good vanishes, nothing sweet or nice remains, we don't even remain lovers, we hate each other so much that, our ego falls short of insults to hurl at each other, I don't know how does it happen or why? But yes we have had our many loveless days full of grudges and a mind full of hate-froth covering the true Love that we long back found in each other.


        In good and bad times both, I always felt "this is going to stay and won't change now", but it always changed, the Whites turned Black and subsequently Blacks faded to Whites.For years now, I have seen this cycle in our love-life, perhaps its a balance for us to live together forever, to love each other even knowing each others' mistakes, shortcomings, faults and our dirty attitude when we fight.


        But I want you to know that when we fight, I abuse you, hate you, even then I never wish something bad happens to you, I never ask God to punish you, I may make you feel miserable on phone, but I will never let anything or anyone trouble you, I can't bear that, its strange but, believe me its true.


        In good times, when you lie beside me, burying your face over my heart, I fear that this love, this feeling of inner fullness and outer completeness, the state of being one with you, won't stay and it does fade out and we have arguments and quarrels but, when they too pass away, we again fall into each others' arms and in the Lap of Love we lay.

Just to remind you, I Love You Jaan.

Yours Lovingly,
Amit.

Earth Hour 2010

Its really late to speak about it now but not too late, same as we humans haven't completely lost our planet to our whimsical use or I should rather say misuse of resources in a highly irresponsible way.

Below was the scenario around my building on Saturday 27th March 2010, time period was 8:30pm to 9:30pm, the Earth Hour 2010 that is.

{Our Sister Building}

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{Do they wanna lit-up the sky?}

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{Nearby Posh Apartments}

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{The Chowk below}

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{A Lavish Corporate Office, showing off}

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{The Movie Theater has to do Business, Right!}

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{Wedding Decoration on a Building}

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{Another Wedding Celebration}

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Above images, might not ring a bell in minds of many of you, that's the sad part. As I did, you too must, get to know that the idea behind Earth Hour is by putting off the Non-Essential lights and appliances, at the same time for an hour everywhere, we reduce the energy consumption drastically for some time.

Moreover, on a broader view this act is the representation of the unanimous resolve of the people all over the world to act responsibly in regards to the Global Warming by trying to actively reduce the carbon-footprint by various corrective and preventive measures.

The Earth Hour Organizers don't claim to reduce the energy/carbon burning amounts by this 60 minutes of lights out, actually they urge people to show the support in their endeavor for the betterment of the planet by agreeing to use energy resources wisely and curbing carbon-emissions wherever possible.

Gone are the days when people said use water and other resources prudently, now I believe, we must use them sparingly with utmost care not to waste any bit of it at all and we must follow the policy of "Recycle, Re-Use and Reduce" wherever possible.

Else, our planet will be nothing but a huge garbage heap and home to flies, pathogens, decomposing stuff, with no humans, because the rate at which we are degrading our planet, we can't adapt our own body to get used to such ecological conditions, within our life-span.

Realize this my friends, the Power to protect the Planet Earth is Ours and we are to take a Call and Act upon all the issues this very minute, Long Live Planet Earth.